Coolness takes effort, and trial and error. Skateboarding probably even seemed hokey when the first guy nailed wheels on a board. So no laughing — this could be revolutionary.
Heelys shoes, named for the single removable wheel nested in each heel, look and fit like sneakers with the wheel pushed into the sole. You can walk normally with the wheels in, until you need to impress your friends.
Then, surprise! You can skate by lifting your toes off the ground, standing only on the wheels, one foot in front of the other. To keep your balance, you can put your stronger leg behind you and lock it.
You skate in Heelys like a human bicycle, one wheel in front of the other, so cracks in the pavement are bad news — one could catch your lead foot, halting the other foot and causing you to crash. Instead of the wheels, the only thing left spinning would be your head.
The company, of course, suggests instead that you skate on smooth, stable surfaces and that you wear a helmet, wrist protectors, elbow pads and kneepads.
Heelys shoes come in 11 designs with such names as Grail, Maxus, Tite, Axis, Rush, Accel, Motions, Stealth, Rage, Shredder and Predator. There are also slick models for grinding tricks, and one model is specifically made for women.
Grocery stores are a good place to practice technique in Heelys shoes. You can get a grocery cart to hang on to in the early, awkward stages. And there's nothing cooler than a college student skating with a grocery cart while picking up yogurt.
These shoes can fly. If you're on a smooth surface, such as the road or the Russell House basement, you can glide all the way from Sub City to your mailbox. Even on the brick walkways and sidewalks that dominate the campus, you can get around pretty well if you learn the peculiarities of the ground.
But old, boring transportation isn't the point of wearing Heelys. These shoes are supposed to get big, like skateboarding has, and become the next extreme sport — or so the cheesy training video hopes. It subliminally flashes such words as nonconformist, iconoclast, pioneer and rebel. It makes me think jumping over stairway railings will soon grant me hero status and a girlfriend. Heelys are all about the tricks.
The Pipeline requires that you skate with your toes pointed in opposite directions, making you look like an elf or a mime. The Psycho 360, which is like a figure-skating trick, is a set of several high-velocity swivels in place. My favorite, the Liu Kang, is a jackknife in the air, performed in a "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" style.
"Only for the truly insane," as the video says, is the Blood Stain, a scary swivel performed with your toes pointed toward each other. It's a move that is out of my league.
I'm not that good. Oh, well. I didn't buy these to participate in extreme sports so much as I bought them to placate my inner child. So many actual children buy them, I can't go wrong.
After all, said Ashley Shew, a second-year philosophy student, "My 10-year-old sister has a pair of those." It seems that Heelys shoes have a special appeal among the younger-sister market.
But only the hopelessly adult could fail to appreciate them. Nothing garners cheers and disapproving looks like eerily gliding across a USC lecture hall before sitting down.
Given the right room, I could be the coolest kid in it.
Heelys prices range from $50 models to $130 models with slick grooves. They are available locally at such stores as Journey's or Gadzooks.
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